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met a guy on line facebook we want to be togather

edited December 2014 in Scams
met a guy on line fb and we talk all the time and skype. we wanna be togather, he says he loves me sooo much and i love him.iam 49 and he is 24. it just happend between us. i wasnt looking to fall in love. i wanna make sure that he does love me and not just get to U S A.so if i could get some input from people that would be great. and what is the easy way to get him a visa or to get to USA, i read alot about the visa thing its  confusing a little.so if any one could give me some advice thank u
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Comments

  • Xena, I cant advise regarding visas until I know what country you are from.
  • Well that's fun. Forget it and live your real life.
  • Dannyrose, you have just joined this forum, we try to help each other not make gratuitous comments  when someone asks for advice. 
  • Well noted, Alethia. Forgive me @xena1772
  • Which country u are from and he is from??? Different countries have different requirements.
  • im in u s a michigan and he is in tunisia
  • 1.) The chances of this not being a scam are of course 1/1,000 but I wish you the best.

    2.) As for a Visa to get him to the US, it's not complicated. Everything you need to know is here:

    http://tunisia.usembassy.gov/non-immigrant_visas.html

    3.) Lastly, why in the world aren't you going to Tunisia first to meet him, his family, etc? Bringing him to the US first is completely nuts.

    Good luck.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • Terry is right, trying to obtain a visa for a young Tunisian man to enter the USA as a visitor will be almost impossible, a waste of time and money
    Tunisia is a very nice country and it would be so simple for you to visit and you would have a very good time.In long distance relationships such as this it is always the woman that travels to the foreign country as they have no visa difficulties.
    It is not unusual for Tunisian men to " fall " for older women, and marry them. They can make you feel a million dollars and you will believe you are their world.
    Thousand of Tunisians marry foreign women of all ages and sometimes its just what Tunisians call "bezness" in other words they are with someone just for the visa and a chance to live in the USA, UK or Europe.
    Lesley who is a member here is married to a Tunisian and lives in Tunisia I hope she comes along to give you advice on your dilemma.

    If nothing else go to Tunisia enjoy yourself and see a little more of the world.

  • edited November 2014
    "... As for a Visa to get him to the US, it's not complicated..."

    When I posted that I meant that the process is straightforward - it's all on the website - but I certainly didn't mean it was an easy thing to acquire. Sorry if that wasn't clear. As Alethia says it will be almost impossible for a young single guy to get a Visa for the US, or for that matter to any developed country.

    Agree entirely that you should be the one visiting him. It will be a huge eye opening trip for you... and I suspect not in the way you intend... but who knows... At the very least you'd get a glimpse of the real world and that's always a good thing.

    Good luck.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • Xena - please take my advice and be very, very cautious. Firstly as the others have told you a visa for him to visit you is not going to happen!!! I repeat it is not going to happen.

    You may very well be taken by his sweet charm, his alluring manner and his seductive use of 'Arabic' romance but I have to tell you that this is all aimed at manipulating and controling you into being head over heels in love with him. It didn't just happen, he made it happen believe me!! Of course he wants a visa/passport/sex and not necessarily in that order.

    Without being too much in your face, the young Tunisian women are the most beautiful in the world and most young Tunisian men want to marry one and perhaps will have one waiting in the wings until a visa and citizenship have been attained and then they will join him wherever he may be. It is not normal here for young men to marry older, much older women, a few years yes but not 20!!!

    You are definitely being set up and when I tell you that statistics here show that the divorce rate for Tunisians is one of the highest in the world with the highest being divorce between a Tunisian man and a foreign woman.

    I agree with the others - come here and take a look. I know Michigan very well, I used to consult to GM. If you have never travelled outside the States then coming here will be a wake up call. Our culture is vastly different to yours, our language, our customs, our social life, our family networks, these are all very difficult for a foreigner to come to grips with.

    And please - do not marry him on your first meeting with him. Consider this very very carefully. Really, would you marry an American man you had never met? Ask yourself why he loves me?? Be honest with yourself and have your eyes wide open.

    If you want to see some of the horror stories then there are two excellent forums for this: www.loverats.com and www.tunisia.com Both these are filled with American/British women who have fallen into the trap and have lost their money, their assets, their family and much more besides.

    If you want I am happy to communicate with you by email. Good luck and keep a common sense!!

    I am very, very sure that you have been targetted by this one.
  • He's too young,how sure he won't fool you?
  • well he is 24 and i dont have much and he knows that so i dont think he is using me i dont send him money either. but ya i wonder at times and not sure what to think if iam crazy or what
  • Xena1772, marrying a US citizen and eventually going to the United States is the long term plan of these men 
    going to the USA would be hitting the jackpot. All I can say is enjoy yourself and see how it goes, visit Tunisia you will have a very good time but wait until May when the weather is really nice.
  • xena1772, go visit him in Tunisia.

    I dare you.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • He is 24..........he is a baby!! My guess is that he is still living with his parents, has no job and no hope!! You say he knows that you have no money pfff........you have way more than him and he would like to help himself to some of it. Please, come here first, try even living here and then see what happens. If you last more than one month here then and only then should you consider a longer term relationship with him, and I don't mean living in a hotel!!!

    And sorry to say this but yes he is using you, you are his visa and ticket to the US!!!
  • Hi Xena,

    I am sure this guy is using you to get entry into the US. I have heard lots of stories like that. After he gets the green card, he will fly off the nest looking for younger birds.

    Michael.
  • xena1772  don't lisen to MichaelDreamer really follow your heart.  If you feel fear then try and get more answers.  I know at first I met my husband now I was scared because you hear all these bad things on the internet but I followed my heart and really I can't meet a more nicer man then I have. Yes there is bad and good in everyone but all the people I have meet in Tunisia have wonderful hearts.  I pray all the best for you and hope you find happiness and love like I have.  I have sent you my email if you would like to talk more about this I would be more then happy to keep in touch with you.  Have a great day Theresa Ghanmi
  • Theresay2000, there is a big difference in your relationship to Xena1772 and that is the age difference. Xena's boyfriend is 25 years younger than her, that is a problem.
  • I'm sorry I know that but I was always told that age is just a number.
  • edited December 2014
    I agree with you to a point. In our own countries if we are with a man younger then its great and we are known as cougar's and its celebrated.

    Unfortunately when a man from a poor country hooks up with an older woman from the US , Europe etc then you have to look at the man's motives. I could tell you lots of incidents of this happening and it NEVER works. I am sure Lesley who lives in Tunisia could tell you more than me.

  • Well I pray that it won't be a down fall for me to get my husband over here with the age even thought it is only 14 years.  :-(
  • "... I'm sorry I know that but I was always told that age is just a number..."

    With all due respect that is a really, really naive statement - especially when one of the participants is coming from a country where an entry Visa into a developed nation is like winning the lottery.

    Xena's situation in particular is completely ridiculous... a 25 year difference in age?... Get serious... she's being played for a fool.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • I can tell you now that it is not normal for a young Tunisian man to marry a woman much older than him. Maybe just a couple or three years but no more. The boys here (and their families) want to have children and they can't get that with a woman who could be their mothers..........so let's be realistic and honest here....majority want visas and life in a different country, when their get their citizenship they divorce and send for their young girlfriend who has been waiting in the wings. Believe me this is what happens!!
  • Theresay 2007, fourteen years is a big age difference by Tunisian standards . Your difficulties many not be with the US authorities but with your husband and his family. Lets hope you can present them with a child.

    I back up totally, what Lesley has written and I have seen this dozens of times. In my job as an immigration lawyer I have assisted in bringing the husband to the UK and many return to me once they have divorced their British wife to hire me to bring in the brand new wife from their home country.

    This happened not so long ago with a Tunisian man, who divorced his older British wife, married the Tunisian girl his family wanted found she could not have children divorced her, married another Tunisian woman who lo and behold became pregnant with their British child on the honeymoon and is now in the UK thanks to me ( I am the lawyer who bought the husband to the UK) and they all lived happily ever after.
  • Alethia  I have been with my husband for 2 years and married for 8 months I have been there twice and all the family knows that I can't bare child but we are leaving it in Allahs hands. They are ok with that they know that we won't be able to have children but know that it is a big opshion to addopt.  I hope I spent that right.  But they don't care they love me and accept everything about me.. All I can say is Thanks Allah for this wonderful family that he has chosen for me.. I couldn't be much happier
  • I'm very happy for you. Your situation is much, much different than Xena's though...

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • I have entirely different thoughts.................as we say here 'not normal'
  • well we have been skyping for almost 8-9 months ya the age thing is very different for me. i have never given him money so i know he is not using me. i see everyone has different opions on this subject.. i cant go to tunisa right now if i could i would. and ya i ask him questions all the time. and he is living on his own he dont live with his perents.i know its hard over there but just because of that why is it ppl cant belive  that 2 ppl can just be so crazy about each other. it just happen.
  • "... i have never given him money so i know he is not using me..."

    That's really naive. You're being played for the long game of a Visa to get into the US. He's not going to mess that up by asking for money.

    You're not being rational.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • ....i see everyone has different opions on this subject..

    Xena, the only person who has a different opinion is Theresay2000 who is married to a Tunisian man 14 years younger than her and desperate to get him to the USA so they can live happily ever after.




  • All I can say is yes he may be playing you and he may not there is good men out there believe me.  xenal just go with your heart none of us know how he is or anything.  Its very hard to believe that there is good men out there but I know there is take a chance and go with your heart.  Good luck and I hope nothing but the best for you I know that Alllah has a plan for each and every one of us and Allah will provide.
  • Xena - you are probably not the only one he is grooming at the moment. It will depend on who bites first as to who he goes with. I live here, I know the language, the culture, the society and I know these boys and there are very, very few Foreign/tunisian marriages that survive!! If you want to know more then I advise you to go to these websites: www.tunisia.com (there is a very good forum for foreign women) and www.tunisianloverats.com - this will be an education for you.

    Ya theresay - you have converted??
  • Lesley I may be wrong but I think Theresay likes to use the "lingo" , it makes her feel part of her Tunisian family.
  • i checked out loverrats and there was 13 pages and pics of men and he was not on there of course i would look iam no fool. iam not a stupid woman i have been through alot of bs in my life and fund it hard to trust any one even a man. but we are crazy about each other its been this way from day 1 cant help how i feel. and if u think iam not the only one he is grooming. we spend alot of time on skyp and internet so he would need lots of time to groom others dont u think. i would have never thought in a million yrs i would have met someone on fb or interent
  • Ah yes Alethia - so many of them do that!
  • xena - yours is not the only time zone in the world! I get emails from women every day who have spoken on whatever, fall in love with a face on the computer, marry and then down the track are complaining about their husband's behaviour towards them, especially after they get that precious visa/passport and new nationality. Some take my advice and many more do not. I will tell you what I tell the thousands of other gullible women - don't ask for advice on forums if you don't like and listen to the answers.
  • Xena I met my husband before the days of Facebook, Skype and even texting ! 

    I travelled to see him as a visa to the UK was a problem or we had holidays in countries where he did not require a visa. We wrote, faxed or telephoned each other.
    Sorry to sound a snob but I did not marry a toy boy, bartender, animator or goat herd , he had a good job and had no need to live in the UK as his standard of living in his own country was fine. 

    We met in the same hotel, I was on a business trip ( not looking for romance) he had bought his mother to hospital. Our first date was sightseeing together and dinner in a small seaside restaurant, when someone let off fireworks he joked they were for us ! Thats romance, not sitting in front of a computer talking to a penniless no mark who is 25 years younger than you.

  • Alethia - exactly!!!
  • like iam the only person ever to meet someone on line
  • edited December 2014
    Xena, lots of people meet on line, a widowed friend of mine met her second husband on line. After meeting on line they dated ,married, honeymooned in the Seychelles and now have a happy married life.

    On line dating is for people to meet with the aim of getting together in the real world, not sitting on Skype for hours drooling over a penniless toyboy, in a situation that is a non starter. 

    There is a big world out there. Get a life! 

    Here is a UK story of a woman who thought age did not matter. Once the UK visa was refused, he dumped his wife and went to work in Saudi Arabia  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2766466/Woman-77-wed-Tunisian-waiter-21-whirlwind-romance-says-no-regrets-divorced-failing-UK-visa.html
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