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Dating a Naija Man

Hi everyone I am a African-American woman who is dating a Nigerian man. I am open to all positive and honest comments nothing negative please!!! I'm in a current relationship that's been ongoing for about 3 months which was established through Facebook. He inbox me we started conversing and 3 months later we are still conversing. He is an awesome guy or at least that's what I think he's like everything that a woman would want in a man; handsome smart, loving, respectful, hardworking,and loves God. I'm a single mother so basically I have a ready-made family he acknowledges that and he's totally comfortable with the situation he also states that he would like to have more kids of his own.We recently made our relationship public on FB,, Our online relationship is wonderful;texting, facebook, video calling,constant communication. I'm like what more can I ask for!!! He wanted to make sure that I have constant communication with his family in the United States he has an 2 uncles that live in the states and auntie we have very good communication. I video chat with him I also communicate with his relatives I've talked to several of his friends,cousins,uncle,auntie, grandma,etc. He wanted me to know that he was a genuine guy and that he wasn't playing any games so that was his way of proving it he's also even went to the extent of sending me his passport and his identity card as well. I've never doubted anything that he's ever told me he's been very honest and upfront. I'm the kind of woman that will ask a question and come back 3 to 4 weeks later and ask the same question again just to see if I'm going to get the answer and it's been the same for the last 3 months. He told me that his profession is Marine in the Nigerian Army that he's never been married and he's never bore kids of his own. He never asked me for any money but I did volunteer to send him $80 after him telling me that he didn't get paid from his job and how the government is very corrupt so basically like they're working for free. I've never had reason to think that he's trying to scam me he doesn't give me that impression!!!! I'm currently planning a 3week trip to go visit him in Nigeria around December which will make 12 months that we've been dating During our conversation we were discussing the trip and he mentioned that he would need to get a vehicle because of safety concerns he does not want to be riding around in a taxi when I come visit. He asked me if I can go half with him and helping him get a vehicle and that he would in return resell the car and give me my funds back before I leave. I must admit I've been a little bothered about this but I do understand that his funds are very limited. He also stated that he will be asking for my hand in marriage when I come to visit. I am aware that he does not have citizenship and that he does want to gain citizenship so that he can enroll in the US Army. He makes me feel like a queen I like nobody else in the world is there but I me how do I know if this man is scamming me I don't want to be hurt,
I love him dearly, how do I know.


  • edited February 12
    Firstly, you are not dating. Dating refers to the time when people are physically together in public. All you do is talk to a man and his friends via Skype, Whatsapp, Viber etc. That is not dateing, you dont go to dinner, the movies, shopping etc. Thats why he appears to treat you like a queen because you never get to see the real man.

    What a nerve this man has, your paying to travel thousands of miles to meet him and now he wants you to pay half on a car "for your security". Then he gets to keep the car when you leave. Thats a sweet deal for him.

    Lets put this into context. Detroit USA is considerd to be a very violent city so If you were meeting up on line with a guy from Detroit and he asked you to give him money towards buying a car so that you would be safe when you visited, would you give him money. No you would not. You would hire a car and you can do that in Nigeria

    If this man is in the Nigerian Marines then he has a good, secure salary and they are not working for free. In fact he should have enough money on his salary to buy a car.

    The Nigerian army is among the best equipped of all the land forces in Africa. It is also One of the largest armies in the world. The salary of private soldiers and non commissioned officers range from US$150 to US$250 per month
    Army officers earn US$330 to US$2750 per month. They receive, food, clothing and accomodation.
    The salary is lower than the US but the cost of living n Nigeria is way below the US so they can live comfortabley. I have verified all this information with Nigerians and sources in the government

    This man has told you that he wants to live in the US so that he can join the US army. that is his dream and your a means of getting that dream. He has accepted money from you and now wants you to pay towards a car. I would not trust this man at all.
  • @Alethia,,thanks for your response it's greatly appreciated. About the car situation he said he was going to resell the vehicle before I leave Nigeria so that I can receive my money back. I've wondered about his job and why he's not able to be properly paid,,,he did say the pay is low and at times it's very difficult to receive their money.On the other hand I was wondering how would I go about getting a private investigator to look into him,, after all this is my livelihood. Any information please inform me.
  • edited February 13
    By Nigerian standards the military pay is good. According to estimates, the average yearly salary in Nigeria is 658,324 NGN (USD3,596). There is corruption in Nigeria and the majority of scammers are from Nigeria.
    How long are you going to Nigeria for, that you need to buy a car. This car business would set off alarm bells.
    Where are you staying in Nigeria.? Surely not with your man friend, you should book a hotel in case things go pear shaped.
    Your man friend is pushing for marriage because he wants to come to the USA, do you understand the issues and costs of a fiance /marriage visa?
    You are a single mom and you want to bring this man from a different country and a different culture. In my opinion this man is grooming you for as a way into the USA
    There are no private invesigators who can work in Nigeria, that is why it is easy for Nigerians to scam people;
    This is what the US government has to say about travel to Nigeria
    You have been swept off your feet by this man who you have never met and are not focusing on reality
  • I can't believe you're considering buying a car for a short 3 week trip. That's insane.

    Sweet scam for him though. Easy money.

    Honestly, step back and look at this situation objectively. Use some common sense.

  • @Ladymocha79 I understand everything your going through I am currently in a similar situation. I am a African-American (26yrs old) and dating a Nigerian Man Im also planning a trip to meet him this July 2018. I do think that the comments have some good facts but nobody fully will understand your situation. You do really want to be cautious and mindful and whatever you decide to do. I wish you the best and if you have any questions I will be more than happy to answer them for you.

    PS----- I do want to speak on the whole car situation I personally wouldn't do that but that is your own personal decision I do want to let you know they have Uber in Nigeria especially Lagos.
  • "... I do think that the comments have some good facts but nobody fully will understand your situation..."

    Highly disagree. Purchasing a car for a short 3 week trip is a scam. Period. It's incredible that you're actually trying to suggest that there's another explanation.

  • @BC2018
    You like @Ladymocha79 are not dating. Dating refers to the time when people are physically together in public. All you do is talk to a man and his friends via Skype, Whatsapp, Viber etc. That is not dateing, you dont go to dinner, the movies, shopping .
    So it is a good chance that you are also are being scammed.
  • edited February 24
  • edited February 24
    @CheersTerry if you read to the bottom I never agreed on the whole car situation I do think that's a bad idea that's the reason why I mention Uber. I definitely was not trying to suggest any other explanation....And for you @Alethia thanks for your input but not all Nigerians are scammers. My man travel to the US on more than one occasion honey and has a damn good job and never asked me for a penny he wines and dines me .And for your information we have been on several dates IWhat i have in common with @Ladymocha79 is that I will be going to Nigeria for the first time to meet some of his family members that I haven't already met in the US which is many (blood related) so again thanks for your input .
  • @CheersTerry @Alethia I really do like the information that you provided to her. We as strangers to this lady can only hope that she will take the information and learn from it.
  • All the best to you and good luck.

  • edited March 1
    Thanks for this line And for you @Alethia thanks for your input but not all Nigerians are scammers. I'm glad its coming from a non-nigerian with a proof. S

    As for the question on the car issue I can smell a scam. Your man working as a military that is enough security here in Nigeria. Hiring is also a good option than buying.
  • Hy ppl I'm in love with a Nigerian Guy I got him on internet I'm from south afirica . When is calling me he do a vidoe call he said he would come to me and marry me after take me to negirian to see his family .he also send me his passport and tell me his job that his a disigner
  • Good luck.

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