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Marriage after meeting on internet - advice please

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Comments

  • Lovelace Tito, I totally 100 percent agree with u on every single point that u have made and thank u for sharing for everyone reading! Ive done my homework on Nigerian men, relationships n culture and what uve said is everything that ive learned. I know ur also right about them not doing chores, etc .. I have no problems with anything relating to the culture n expectations because ive already been doing those things a Nigerian woman does for 18 years now! Thats just who i am as a woman anyway! I believe in a man n womans role from a Christian perspective. I think a Nigerian woman from what ive read is a great example for a woman to be!( Proverbs 31 Woman). The only thing i would not tolerate from a Nigerian man though is his mistresses. In America we dont tolerate infidelity for any reason. Other than that Id be fine. But u are right about the race card too from what ive read and i even asked my Nigerian man about this n of course he denies that its a problem. i dont believe him or maybe his family is in on the scam to help him in any way to get his greencard!! idk. Lastly, I refuse to send a grown ass man money--- period! For two reasons...1- you are a man n u should be providing for me. a man looking to a woman for financial support gets no respect from me unless we were already in a relationship n he lost his job no fault to his own 2- Im not his Momma!!! I have children of my own and ill be damn if i take from my kids mouths to give $$ to him! Oh let me make a third point--- I love my money and i work hard for mine so i dont part with it except to help those that are there for me as well! I dont break bread with users! I work full time as a Nurse n go to school full time in the evening! Ill tell a man in a minute to go get his A$$ a job!
  • Hi NurseSwagger2012,
    I've been reading your posts and I'm glad to hear you are realizing this guy is scamming you. I too went thru a similar situation but she was very good and I was flattered that this pretty woman would be interested in me. I was married for over twenty years so the though of starting over was kind of refreshing.
    She convinced me we would be together and I sent her money while she was finishing her degree for nursing. She was living in NY then went to Ghana to finish to be with her mums family who she had never met.
    I also encountered discrepancies in her story and we would get in arguments like we were already married. I finally found out who she wasn't when the photos she sent turned out to be a porn star! I had no idea the pictures were innocent and clothed. Wasn't till we web cammed and I knew it was fake. Wish I had realized before she got a lot of money from me.
    I met her on match.com which is a breeding ground for scammers I found out. I don't send money to anyone anymore. Not even an airline ticket.
    these people have an excuse for everything. Don't blame yourself for being fooled. I don't know you but know you are better than him and any of his lies. Just a note there are plenty of fish in your own pond. Life's too short to search so far away for true love.
    I have encountered a couple more Ghana scammers but I am well educated now and wont be tricked again.
    I paid for my degree in the art of dating. Lol
    Remember what Dorothy learned in the Wizard of Oz.... you can go looking for your dreams but you should start by looking in your own back yard.
    Good luck in your search for love and romance. :)
  • @nurseswagger2012.... I read most of your post on here and other people's post, its nice to hear all you said, but the truth is this love knows no bound nor colour, if you're truly in love with him, then you won't be discouraged except you have proof that he's been lying to you all along because a man who truly cares about you would not lie to you, and one funny thing about lies is that if you tell just one lie, you will need two other lies to cover up that lie which will amount to distress in the end. I've had stories about Nigerian men that got married to caucasian and white women, some even come to Nigeria and do their court wedding, it is real , it has happened before and its happening, maybe this will help if you are on facebook, search for "interracial dating" and you will see beautiful stories of Africans getting married to whites abroad... All you need do is define your taste, and go for it but be more careful so you don't fall in the wrong hand.
  • hi i also met my boyfriend online too,we havent met,he wants me to visit him in the UK but we dont what pertinent information to be included in the letter aside from his information about himself and his work.

    should we put in there how we met online and that the relationship is geniune?

  • You are applying for a general visit visa, there is no need to say you met on line, you just put in the letter you are friends and your boyfriend is inviting you to stay. The onus is upon you not your boyfriend to show you have a job and responsibilities to return to and sufficient funds to pay for your visit.

    By the way this is not the UK section
  • Hi ladies,pls advise what is needed when the South African lady getting married to a Nigerian man in Nigeria?
  • 1.) Get your head examined.

    2.) http://www.nigeriapretoria.org.za/about.html

    Good luck.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • 1. I agree with Terry :smiley:
    2. One of you needs to apply for a visa so you can marry in either South Africa or Nigeria

    Terry your comments crack me up :smiley:
  • it's so said seeing comments about some Nigerians marrying foreigners for visas etc using it as a means to enrich themselves & family without LOVE just pretence but there are few Nigerians who marry white Men/Women and contribute so much in there that money alone cant buy bcos they have ideas & right plans which makes them valued however care is needed wen coming to Nigeria frm overseas like security(bcos sum low minded people sees them as means to get money) hotel or lodge/house etc D only probs is nt all can afford D flight, security, hotel/feeding etc when sum1 so different frm Nigerian system/culture is coming over eg frm Asia, Europe etc
  • edited June 2015
    image
    heard it all before.
  • Nigerians are good people...it all depends on who you meet..sometime in 2012 I met a woman from u.s.a, in our youth fellowship and after much intro and time spent we realised that we were good to go...we been on till now..the problem now is that am not rich she is not also rich but I don't want to ask her for anything as I am pretty sure she can take care of my travel expenses....all I just want to say here is that Nigerians are good people..it all depends on who you met....
  • That's fine, but it changes nothing. All the advice above from Alethia and myself is accurate.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • Yes all good..............and I'm pretty sure you won't ask her for a single cent!! Pfffft
  • Nigerians are not bad people, I have met scammers everywhere, this is just sad
  • edited December 2015
    @CHIMA
    "I have met scammers everywhere"
    Can you explain "everywhere" when the whole world knows the majority of romance scammers are from Nigeria . Nigeria even has a special police force dealing with these scammers.

    None so blind as those who don't want to see
  • Headed to Lagos in a week. Going to meet an online male friend that I have chatted with since 2008. No marriage.... just to chill for a few days, be around kind-hearted people and see what follows..... who doesn't want a visa to the US??? I realize that falls into our equation, yet, that is only part of the full picture. I am interested in meeting him and his family in person. If we are compatible, even better. If we are not compatible, I thank God I was able to see a different part of the world first-hand and return home safely..... There have been so many negative postings about Nigerian men and scammers that I have read over the past six months.... granted, I have not read each and every post out there.... but seems like no one posts much info about their return from Nigeria..... I will because I wish more positive postings were available for me..... scammers are real but all people are not bad..... there has been so much happening around the world lately that I almost cancelled my trip.... all I can do is pray to God for wisdom and safety..... I don't believe he has brought me this far to leave me..... I feel I could write a whole book about everything I have encountered to make this trip happen.... wish me all the best.... God willing, I'll update upon my return...
  • @MzzCheekz you wrote.

    " I thank God I was able to see a different part of the world first-hand and return home safely....."
    You have not been there yet . Christmas in Lagos thats a new one. Good luck you will need it
  • edited December 2015
    well all these comment got me laughing my good eyes out. Of course im a Nigerian guy and trust me if you are a male born into my good ole Nigeria im sure youll understand what it means to SUFFER when you graduate with a 1st class in computer science and you are still moving up and down the street getting cheated by corrupt officials. All im tryna say is that Nigeria is a f'd up country where bright future only belong to the government officials kids whos got dead brain. I once met this great lady online and it wasnt even on an online dating it was in an online game she addex me and we began to chat, and sincerely i was falling for this white lady and she too felt the same we web cammed using skype and oovoo suddenly she
  • asked me if i woukd like to date her and i said yes because i had true feelings for this lady and then about three weeks later she asked if i would like to marry her and i said NO, she then said sje was testing me if i was loyal blah blah blah and i was angry and we had a disagreement and then she said i should stop texting her and then i deleted her after a month i added her bak just to see if she sent any message and lo and behold she was apologizing for what she did to me and i never asked a penny from her i just really dont know if i should accept her back plz what should i do?
  • You're a smart guy Victur, you should be able to figure out your next move all by yourself.

    Happy New Year.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • @Alethia I am back and well.... thank God I didn't read your comment before I left.... one less negative comment to roll around in my head.... have you been to Nigeria?? It may not be the United States, but I have plans to return to 9ija in the near future..... I had an absolute ball! Enjoyed my stay throughout..... Christmas was lovely... new years was even better..... all people in this world are not set out to do wrong.... I was able to see this first hand..... so all you negative bashers can go and suck an egg...... I can only speak on my experience and I had a great experience, thanks to the Lord God Almighty, Amen!! I have captured my lovely memories through pics and videos .... so grateful that I put my fears to the wayside and embarked on this journey :)

    No regrets :)
  • @MizzCheekz I am happy you had a wonderful time in Nigeria and you wrote it here among these piles of negative comments. I am proudly Nigerian and i will shout it from the top of Mount Everest. It is only fools that make generic statements like "all Nigerians are scammers" and "Nigeria is a dangerous place". Have you met all the 140 million Nigerians individually? If you haven't, stop jumping to foolish conclusions.
  • As i said in my previous post, i am a Nigerian. In April 2003, I received an email from a student studying medicine in Denmark; i was working full time at an IT company in Lagos. The letter was titled "Hello from Denmark". I did not want to respond and it took me about three months to write a reply (my instincts were screaming NO!). He wanted to be pen pals with me and "all" he wanted was a person to exchange life experiences with through e-mail. I thought that wasn't a difficult request. So, we became penpals. Along the line, i stopped working and started studying at a university in Nigeria. I must have mentioned in one of my emails how expensive education was in Nigeria because my danish friend "voluntarily offered" to help. I NEVER asked him to help me.

    I think this seemingly selfless act made me see him differently. I thought he was "so gullible and very innocent". For all he knew, i could be lying about who i am; but i wasn't. By 2004, he was asking me to have a relationship with him, and he wanted to come to Nigeria to visit me. I said that was okay by me as long as he is paying for his visit. He came to Nigeria in October 2004 and met my family. We went on road trips and visited the country sides. He had fun. He asked me to marry him. My parents refused but i said yes to him. Fast foward to 2005 November, we got married in a modest ceremony in Lagos. I stayed in Lagos while he returned to Denmark. In 2007, he graduated from medical school; and i graduated from the university in Nigeria. There was nothing holding me back in Nigeria, so I and our daughter joined my husband in sweden (where he got his first job after graduation).

    From that first day in Sweden, i knew i had walked into a difficult situation. He left us at the airport for 8 hours and when he finally arrived to pick us up, he did not apologise or explain why he came late. He just said "let's go". After that, everything went downhill. He would threaten me, verbally abuse me, he would dissappear for days and come back with the excuse that he has been working. He was barely at home. Whenever he was at home, he would sit in front of the computer staring at a particular picture of a woman with a dog. In 2009, i got pregnant with our second child and he said he wasn't the father. He even went as far as accusing me of sleeping with black men. He said i should go and give the child to his black father. By this time, i have had enough and applied for a divorce. During the divorce hearing, he accused me of being a dubious Nigerian, defrauding him, deceiving him and cheating on him. In December 2009, we were officially divorced and he moved back to Denmark.

    Fast forward to 2015, my children went to spend the holidays with their father in Denmark and were introduced to a woman who happens to have dogs and lived on a farm. Their father told them "she is your new mother" and he intended to marry her. My daughter took a picture of the woman and showed it to me when she returned home. Behold! It was the same woman he would sit and stare at for hours when we were still living together. He was cheating on me all the while. And i was struggling to make the marriage work.

    The purpose of my story is this - not all Nigerians are bad. Some of us are infact very good people. My Danish ex husband played me. Can we now conclude that all danish men are crooks? Or it is only Nigerian men that deceive foreign women?
  • MARRIAGE RESTORED! My wife pack out of the house with my kids and said she was no longer interested in me anymore. She said all the abusive words and said am not a good husband because I wasn't working, instead I was wasting her time, so i contacted this Strong spell caster DR DAN a week ago after reading Miracles about his spell over the net, I consulted him for a love spell, crying not knowing what to do. He told me that he will cast a lover spell for me so my wife will come back to me. After 4 days of casting the spell, my wife call me apologizing and begging me to come home. The tender that i was waiting for was approved and he started telling me that am a good husband that I must forgive her for the bad things she had said. Am thanking DR DAN for the Faith and Trust he showed me. if any body is out there passing through any relationship difficulties should kindly contact him via website or email : http://blessedspellhome.wix.com/dr-dan or BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM or call him +1 (310) 751-7818
  • MARRIAGE RESTORED! My wife pack out of the house with my kids and said she was no longer interested in me anymore. She said all the abusive words and said am not a good husband because I wasn't working, instead I was wasting her time, so i contacted this Strong spell caster DR DAN a week ago after reading Miracles about his spell over the net, I consulted him for a love spell, crying not knowing what to do. He told me that he will cast a lover spell for me so my wife will come back to me. After 4 days of casting the spell, my wife call me apologizing and begging me to come home. The tender that i was waiting for was approved and he started telling me that am a good husband that I must forgive her for the bad things she had said. Am thanking DR DAN for the Faith and Trust he showed me. if any body is out there passing through any relationship difficulties should kindly contact him via website or email : http://blessedspellhome.wix.com/dr-dan or BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM or call him +1 (310) 751-7818,.,,.
  • Hello friends, I'm Jeremy Micheal from USA. I want to share my testimony and how grateful I am since my lover came back to me because of the great help from a powerful spell caster DR. SAM whose email address is [ miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com ] rendered to me. My girlfriend broke up with me on the first week of October last year because she thought I was cheating on her, she told me that her friends has been telling her that I have been seeing someone else when she is not around. I tried to make her understand that her friends are lying to her but she did not give me the chance to explain to her this was how she left me. After a month of our breakup I tried to live a normal life without her but it was very hard for me to cope then I decided to contact DR. SAM after seeing several testimonies about his work every single blog I log into via his email address miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com which I came across this month January 2nd during my search looking for help on how to get my lover back. DR. SAM then cast a love spell for me and made my lover to come back to me within the period of 48hours. With this great joy in my heart I want to say a big thanks to DR. SAM. If any one needs such help don’t wait all life time to get help in getting back your lover contact DR. SAM now on his personal email : miraclefertilitysolutiontempl1@gmail.com or miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam
    You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. Contact him now for love spell to bring back your ex lover and pregnancy spell he is the best spell caster and he is the best solution to all relationship problems.
  • Hello friends, I'm Jeremy Micheal from USA. I want to share my testimony and how grateful I am since my lover came back to me because of the great help from a powerful spell caster DR. SAM whose email address is [ miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com ] rendered to me. My girlfriend broke up with me on the first week of October last year because she thought I was cheating on her, she told me that her friends has been telling her that I have been seeing someone else when she is not around. I tried to make her understand that her friends are lying to her but she did not give me the chance to explain to her this was how she left me. After a month of our breakup I tried to live a normal life without her but it was very hard for me to cope then I decided to contact DR. SAM after seeing several testimonies about his work every single blog I log into via his email address miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com which I came across this month January 2nd during my search looking for help on how to get my lover back. DR. SAM then cast a love spell for me and made my lover to come back to me within the period of 48hours. With this great joy in my heart I want to say a big thanks to DR. SAM. If any one needs such help don’t wait all life time to get help in getting back your lover contact DR. SAM now on his personal email : miraclefertilitysolutiontempl1@gmail.com or miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam
    You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. Contact him now for love spell to bring back your ex lover and pregnancy spell he is the best spell caster and he is the best solution to all relationship problems.
  • Hello friends, I'm Jeremy Micheal from USA. I want to share my testimony and how grateful I am since my lover came back to me because of the great help from a powerful spell caster DR. SAM whose email address is [ miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com ] rendered to me. My girlfriend broke up with me on the first week of October last year because she thought I was cheating on her, she told me that her friends has been telling her that I have been seeing someone else when she is not around. I tried to make her understand that her friends are lying to her but she did not give me the chance to explain to her this was how she left me. After a month of our breakup I tried to live a normal life without her but it was very hard for me to cope then I decided to contact DR. SAM after seeing several testimonies about his work every single blog I log into via his email address miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com which I came across this month January 2nd during my search looking for help on how to get my lover back. DR. SAM then cast a love spell for me and made my lover to come back to me within the period of 48hours. With this great joy in my heart I want to say a big thanks to DR. SAM. If any one needs such help don’t wait all life time to get help in getting back your lover contact DR. SAM now on his personal email : miraclefertilitysolutiontempl1@gmail.com or miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam
    You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. Contact him now for love spell to bring back your ex lover and pregnancy spell he is the best spell caster and he is the best solution to all relationship problems.
  • (I PROMISED DR KAREEM TO SHARE THIS GREAT TESTIMONY TO EVERYONE THAT COMES MY WAY.) Please bear with me and read on!
    I noticed a sudden change when my husband started cheating on me.'For the worse,'he started treating me and our little kids as total strangers'.I knew once that something had gone wrong. I hired a private investigator that cost me a lot to help monitor his moves.
    Sadly,i was told he was seeing another woman. It turned out right to be what i was thinking. I couldn't just believe it so i confronted him with the pictures,but he denied it bluntly. he said she was just a lady he had some working project with but foolishly i believed him.But on one faithful day, i caught them red handed and that moment my heart stopped pumping for a while as i bust into tears. I have never seen in his eyes so much hatred before, to the extent that he would l have to cheat on me. I still remember his very words " "KEEP THE HOUSE AND YOUR SICK KIDS! He stopped coming home from that day. I tried all i could to make him come back home but all my efforts proved abortive till i stumbled on an article online about a spell caster: Dr Kareem how he castes love spell to reunite broken relationships.But At first, I told myself it was a scam because i never believed in such but as pressure from my husband's lawyer increased i became desperate and gave it a chance.You never know until you break down the walls and give something a chance.Though i know it sounds too desperate but i love my husband and wanted him back.i contacted the love spell caster Dr Karreem via his website and his phone number.I followed all his instructions and everything happened just as he said. My husband came back to me after 46 hours of preparing the love spell and we have been living for some years now without any problem. People call Doctor Kareem as nice man but i call him a God sent! Here is my phone number +15309038029 text me for any information. Do you need help for these areas:
    MARITAL PROBLEMS,DEPRESSION, STROKE,CANCER,DIABETES,BREAK UP,LOVE SPELL,INSTANT DEATH REVENGE ,INFERTILITY PROBLEM, EX. REMOVAL, BAD LUCK,ATTRACTION,WIN A LOTTO,CONTRACT,PROMOTION AT WORK, RECOVERING BACK LOST FUNDS OR DEBT i advice you to contact Dr Kareem with this information:Cell +27723697012
    Website://www.fastsolutionspell.com/
    drkareemjida@yahoo.com
    drkareemjida@gmail.com
  • After reading all these comments.. I weep so hard.. comments here can destroy other people's happiness, relationships and marriage.. for your information, if your marriage or relationship didn't end well, that doesn't give you the right to discourage others.. people are different.. Nigerians are different(good and bad).. people come here seeking for encouragement and advise but all they get here are negative comments and terrible advise.. advising someone to quit her marriage just because she is dating a Nigeria man, I see people boldly talking about what they don't know.. destroying other people's happiness with negative advise.. this is evil and wicked.. most of you feel you know Nigerian men very well, but you don't.. most people don't want others to be happy because they are not happy.. you don't want their marriage to end well because yours didn't end well.. the hatred, Jealousy is clearly Observed here.. I have a white girl I met online, we are happy, I love her and she loves me.. and we are sticking with each other forever till we grow old. If you have problems with that, go hug a transformer.. all these Nigerian girls full of hatred advising women to leave their Nigerian husband.. go get a life and stop destroying other people's joy.. my advise to ladies, don't depend on people to tell you what to do. Go for what you believe. Have faith and it will work out.. if you find a Nigerian man, make video calls and be happy.. the first day my wife read the comments here, it almost destroyed us, and I told her never to come here anymore.. believe in you dreams and have faith in what you believe. If you suspect some fowl play, leave him and move on with your life..


  • Dr. Okpapiami will help you in getting married to the love of your life. If truely LOVE exists between you and your partner and you are ready to spend the rest of your lives together then let me help you turn this into a reality. Ask yourself the following questions.
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    . Do you wish for your marriage to be happy, peaceful and respected by others?
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    Dr. Okpapiami, also help you save your marriage if it is in doldrums and you feel like it's going to the dogs. If separation or divorce is not
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  • Hey Angeleyes, how did your trip go?

    i am responding to this post because i must say i am very appalled and also sorry for the level of ignorance in the threads here. Firstly, i am a Nigerian woman, proud of my heritage and i have an Australian lover. He loves everything about me, my culture, my skin, my hair, my eyes, my opinion, my mind everything about me and i love him too entirely.

    Just so you know, we matched online and didn't get to meet each other until about two months later, by that time he was leaving the country and from our conversations he had made it clear he didn't want a relationship, and ofcourse i didn't want a fuck buddy. So i paid no attention to pursing a relationship with him. He left the country(Philippines) and time went by. But we started talking again, and to cut the long story short. We want to be with each other till the day we die. I am planning a trip to Sydney where id get to meet his Father, Sister and Aunty and i am very excited about it. To see what his life is like and also cos i get to visit somewhere new. In return, he would visit me for a few weeks in Asia and then in December he is coming to Nigeria where he would meet my family and everyone in my life. We are very excited for that cos i intend to show him everything about Nigeria, the good food, the friendly people, the great places etc.

    PS Your country of origin does not determine if you turn out to be a good person or not. So please stop the hate, stop being Bias. Not everyone in Nigeria or African is a criminal.
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