Marriage after meeting on internet - advice please

2

Comments

  • edited 1:42PM
    i want to ask a question that is it possible to get marry to an unbeliever that is in overeseas. before i will know what to say
  • edited 1:42PM
    @kay-kokoro
    Yes its very possible, you just have to be careful
  • @Angeleyess
    Am not advising u to go ahead, but I know of an Aussies woman that is married to a Nigeria; the marriage took place last Dec in Lagos.
    You can find out from her yourself on fb....Tammy Ezeonu. But make sure and be very careful.
    Best of luck.
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi Don valentino
    Thank you for Tammy name but she has her fb locked down well.
    Do you live in Nigeria?
  • edited 1:42PM
    @ANGELEYESS; I would advise you not to travel to Nigeria alone, meeting someone you have never met before in Nigeria. I am a born Nigeria but reside in the UK since the age of 12, I am aware of the current condition in Nigeria.. there are alot of things you need to take into account. I also met a lot of Nigerian men giving false hope and details to innocent women as yourself.

    The condition in Nigeria is purly not safe for a Nigerian let alone an Aussie woman, so many things to worry about, bad water, Healthcare, just incase you fall ill while out there, transportation, Crime rate, Electricity... Nigeria is a country filled with corruption, lawless system that plays unfairness to the poor. the condition of the accommodation you will be staying in while out there.

    Just because its worked for other people doesnt mean it will work for you, be careful.... there was a recent story about a Canadian lady that went back to Nigeria for the first time to marry her internet sweetheart, stayed in Nigeria for 2 Months and never made it back to Canada, she dead of some sort of virus, and wasnt treated appropriately while in the hospital..

    Her body was flown back to Canada, but her Nigerian's husbands concern was that he wasnt going to get his residence, so at first he held her body hostage for months before the canadian authorities interceded.
  • edited 1:42PM
    to Nigerianigbo

    it is so great to received some tips and honest advice from some one like you. I am going to Nigeria, staying in Ibadan city for the first time, will post my experience when I get back.

    Autumn
  • edited 1:42PM
    Dear all, I'm an Australian woman married with a Nigerian man three weeks ago in Lagos. We met each other on online dating. After dating for a few months, I decided to go to Nigeria to visit him. Everyone here is reacted about my decision going to Nigeria and they advised me not to go Nigeria based on unsafety reason in Nigeria. However, I follow my heart saying if I want to find the truth of our relationship, I should go my self to Nigeria. I'm giving him the three criterias that he should show to me. As he is a fashion designer, he made clothes, I asked him to make a gown for me, his passport and a Nigeria SIM card. Yes, he made me a gown, in fact he made a beautiful wedding gown. I landed in Lagos a day before Chrismas day and two days later we decided to get marriage and went through the wedding consultation at the registrar office at Ikoyri, Lagos. As both of us never married before, we need to approve it to them. My husband would have to show them the letter to prove that he is single and never married before. All went through well and we married on 4 Jan 2012. I'm blessed to know him, his family, his friends. Every night we have a prayer meeting. In the morning and before sleep my husband and me praying together to give thanks and blessing upon our relation ship. Now, I flew back to Melbourne and leaving my husband in Nigeria. He has to stay as he is now starting to prepare his Australian application. We hope any one who can suggest us the best way to get my husband to Australia. It is much appreciated. Thank you.
  • edited 1:42PM
    To whom it concern,
    Especially to someone who is planning to go to Nigeria, please make sure you prepare everything with the listed below:
    1. Make sure you have the visa to Nigeria
    Normally it's a bit difficult to get the visa unless the invitation letter provided is truth.
    2. Make sure you get vassination at least five injections as what I did.
    3. Please stay inside the airport and wait until someone coming to see you and please make sure he/she brought something that can be identified by you. Don't leave the airport because you may got shocking with lot of people on the street looking for money.
    4. If no one come to fetch you, please make sure that ur phone is contactable with Nigeria line. Please use the SIM Traveller, you can get from the post office or from their website.
    5. Please make sure your phone is fully charged
    6. If she/he is for you, she/he will send someone to fetch you in the airport as from my experience.
    7. Please make sure you bring enough cash because Nigeria is a cash trading
    8. If you found out something wrong or no one there, please make sure you book the hotel and the trustful taxi at the airport and don't ever leave airport before you have done all.
    Finally all the best and Enjoy your days down there. Lagos is actually a lovely place to visit.

    Cheers
  • edited 1:42PM
    my advice to the young woman is please stay away for your own safety
    nigerians are scammers stay away for your own good
    from ghana
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi William, I disagree with your opinion. Not every Nigerians are scammers or bad people. I believe every country produce bad and good people. I had seen with my own eyes the young people there are very obedience to the old people. They will bow down their head or even their body when they visit the old people from their relatives. My husband family will bown down their body and kiss their parents feet when they just come back from travelling. Not only my husband family but his friends do the same way to their parents. If you know them well, they will treat you as a part of their family. Cheers.
  • edited 1:42PM
    hi all its funny how people from countrys that have %89 of scams going on say to us NOT ALL ARE SCAMMERS lol im sorry but it is what it is anyone asking you to send cash or bank stuff look out SCAMM invite letter is fine .the 3rd world is for sale but not everyone will like what there buying lol my wife is from asia i still have to fix her visa alot of her friends have seen scams from there ownmen very sad most are poor so the only thing thay lose is there virginity very big deal in islamic asia so when thay see all of us in the west lose cash thay see us as lucky to have cash in the first place keep this in mind.
  • edited 1:42PM
    It is rather sad hearing all these bad comments on the men from Nigeria, I am a South African married to a Naija man , and this was the best decision I ever made. We also met on the internet but fortuanately he was residing in South Africa then.We chatted for about a month then decide to meet , and the person I fell inlove with on the internet to finally see him in real life was just the confirmation that he was the one , the next time we met he propose and less than a year later I travelled to Nigeria to marry this man. 5 years down the line with every passing day our love grows more beautiful , he treats me with the outmost respect , he is the best thing that ever happen to me. Yes Nigeria was nothing I am used to in my country but not even the poor roads infrustucture, the mad traffic, weather, and load shedding could compare to the ultimate feeling of contentment and happiness I have with my naija man.
  • edited 1:42PM
    Yes, I agree with you, Naijawifey. Even I and my husband have been apart due to the immigration process, we have never been apart because we always contact each other every day by texting message, making calls. My husband treats me with the outmost respect and he is the best husband that God gave me. I married with him in a short period of time after meeting in person. He is a hard working person that I have ever seen.Having been with him was the happiest time that I have. He woke up early morning to clean the house, made breakfast for me, did hand washing and took care of me when I had bad coughing due to the heat weather in Nigeria. He praise God for giving him a wife, the best gift that he has ever received. I known that he had been cope with the miserable life as he born in the poor country, Nigeria. But he never ever give up and always been positive thinking. I'm hoping people realize that not every Nigerian man are bad. From what I can see, they are hard working people coping with the hard life condition. No electricity power, no good food provided, hot weather, congested traffic. They treats their wife with the utmost respect.

    Kind Regards

    Mandy
  • edited 1:42PM
    would like to know what happen to her :)
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi its angeleyess here is Lagos Nigeria

    Have to say I love my new Husband but for the rest of the country it is just hell x100

    I can say that all government officals are currpt and you can not believe the Nigerian Embassy in any country especially when it comes to marriage

    Note that there is no set procedure or price for marriage here and please note that they will shake your family down on the wedding day for flash money

    It has cost over 100K to marry here and it could have cost more only that i had to bit my tongue

    I will post more later on my return home or by the way there is also cruption in the VFS office so just be aware and now trying to get some answer from our embassy here in Nigeria and SA

    Chat soon

    Angeleyess
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    I'm glad you find happiness with your husband. The marriage down there based on the case officer, If you meet the good officer, you won't spend much money. We were lucky, we didn't have spend so much money on our wedding day. We had a blissful wedding. Till today, I praise God for giving me wonderful husband from Lagos. My husband is still in the process of getting his visa to come to Australia to live with me. Hoping to hear some good news for you, Angelyess.
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hello everyone
    I am to a woman wanting to travel to Nigeria for the first time, I have many questions but one does puzzle me, my friend says they don"t have mail boxes at his home, is that possible or just a lie
    Please comment on this issue not sure if he is a scammer or not,

    MLC
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi Pinkey, you can ask him whether he is able to do video chatting with you, so you are able to see his face. Second, when you do video chatting, look around him whether he is in the house or in the Internet cafe. Invite his best friend to be your friend as well or ask some of his family to talk with you. From there, you will be able to judge yourself whether you want to continue on. Normally if he is truth to you, he and his family will support your relationship. Also you ask him, his identity card as well.

    Please be careful, open your eyes n ears in the process of knowing him and his family. Your own justification will let you know if you find something wrong from your conversation. If he try to hide you something, he will try to avoid the things that you ask for.

    Take care and good luck.

    Mandy
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hey, Nigerians are not so bad, we have populations are among these ppl, you can easily get good and bad ppl. if u find ur love in Nigeria please pray and follow ur hearth, Nigerians are good thye take care of their wife. its truth they are scammer, but u have to be careful, ask. if you are to go to Nigeria please have enough money that will take care of u 2) let your family member know where you are going to lodge, if possible at your arrival to lagos or anywhere in Nigeria tell your hotel manager your mission, use professional hotel, your manager or the owner will knw if the guy is a scammer or not, and you can detect by your self by his dressing and the way he will relate. to be honest with u there are good guys that are really faithful and caring.
  • edited 1:42PM
    after reading the comments, i am a lady that met a Naija man, we met online about 2 years ago,i heard alot about the scam, but ur right they aren't all scammers.. my fiance' paid for my entire trip.. from my passport,visa,visa fees,flight,hotel..he paid for everything.. bought anything i asked for.. he is the best thing that has happened to me and we are planning my 3rd visit and he will be paying for that trip as well... he lives and works on Victoria island and we plan to marry in sept...its true that the city has its good and bad places,but i was treated like a queen... he protected me and met met me inside the airport, he paid whatever he had to,so that he would be there to get me at the airport..not one time did he ever ask me for money... i think that we should pray and ask god if he/she is the right person for us..... ans follow ur heart... ive never been happier...
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi No wahala

    He could not have meet you in the airport as you are picked up outside after having to pay off all the officals

    There is no one but officals and people arriving allowed in arrivels ?????

    Regards

    Angeleyes

    PS I have other westerns that can confirm this!
  • edited 1:42PM
    This is soooo funny. First of all I understand that Nigerian men are not romantic men and a lot of woman from the states and other countries thrive off that. How can a man love someone that he never met or been around?? I am married to a Nigerian man and there are a lot of things I have learned from him about the culture ( But I met him in the States). One thing I know so well is how far some of the men will go to get there green card or get out of Nigeria, even if it mean telling a woman he love her. lol. I bet if you told him that you wanted to come and live in Nigeria with him that he would stop calling you and cut out all that love stuff. I don't understand why white woman are so gullible to fall for the hype. Also I have seen where Nigeria men play nice once they get out of Nigeria and once they get their papers they start showing there true color. The family most of the time don't see nothing of you but money and a way for them to maybe get out as well because once he leave they see as a way for them to get money and send it back home and hopefully one day divorce you and bring over his real wife and mother...etc. I am sorry to say but take your time and don't trust it.
  • edited 1:42PM
    I married a Nigerian man, I was a fool. He was so convincingly sincere, he really fooled me into believing he was such a man of God and that he loved me. I was married to him over 7 years. After he got his citizenship and a child from me, he became a totally different man to me. Towards the end, I started find out many things he hid from me. It was a very shocking and bitter pill to swallow. Ladies, I have learned from personal experience that Nigerian men can pretend for long periods of time. It still is very hard on me to realize that this man that I loved so deeply was only out to use me for money and citizenship, and whoever know what else he was trying to get from me. BE CAREFUL. I was very na
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi,

    Thank you for letting me know. I put my marriage in God' hand. Every marriage couples will face their own problem to which some may end up with the divorce. Yes, when the divorce come to play, we are as a woman will most get the impact. What's I'm trying to say is divorce may happen to the marriage couple regardless where they are from. Marriage life is relied on how the couple educated them self to maintain their marriage to be last long. My husband will be here soon and together we will start our marriage life in Melbourne.

    Kind Regards
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi everyone I'm a South African I just fell in love with this site and Your advises are so interesting just keep them coming
  • edited 1:42PM
    just be ware do not get involed with any one that is not in your own country and do not get involed with dating sites where these are
    there a many signs to tell you that they are not who they seam to be

    Run and do not give any money to anyone on the net or dating sites

    be advise africa is a very danagours site

    An do not use Kenya airways to travel there or from africa one of the worst airlines ive every used!
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    It has been long time that I haven't heard any news from you. Are you back in Australia?
    I'm sorry to feel that you may have bad experiences in Africa. Hope you are fine.

    Take care.

    Kind Regards

    Mandy
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi Mandy

    Yes im back in oz and my husband arrive on the 23rd of december

    If I ever have to go back to nigeria I would rather slash my wrist

    The officals made the marriage day a horrable day after exstoring over 64000 niaia out of me and my husband on the first day and that was not the last to come

    The embassy here in Australia have no Idea what they are talking about as once we arrived at the court the offical said if we wanted to do it there way they would deal the wedding for as long as possible till my return here

    The place is full of currpt officals that would rob you and stab you in the back

    All I have to say of the place is to shot all the officals (including the police officers ) and start again

    Worst place on earth!

    I will be around

    Angeleyess
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    I'm really glad to hear you and your husband back in oz. My husband is still in Nigeria waiting for his visa. Hoping he will be soon with me. I know you had been through unexpected things but the happiness will always be with us. True love will always be survived.

    Take care.

    Mandy
  • edited 1:42PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    I have followed this topic for quite a time, I am a Nigerian women living in Australia, permit me to let out my opinion on some of your posts.
    Nigeria is a large country with both good and bad people. I honestly sympathize with you on the sad experiences you had in Nigeria during your visit but please do feel free to visit Nigeria any time, only that you have to be smarter the next time you visit. I am also glad you finally married the man of your dream.
    I have some points to make here, Nigeria is corrupt, that's indisputable but you made a lot of mistakes during your stay in Nigeria, I honestly do not see any reason why you presumed your husband was too poor to sponsor your marriage in his own country and he was around when money was extorted from you from different officers without any intervention by him?, If this is true then he started scamming you from there, he might have connived with those officers to defraud you with out you being aware of what was happening. Again, I do not know whether he took his time to counsel you like someone he loves, about Nigeria's condition while you were with him in the country.
    I honestly hope and pray the marriage turns out a lovely and lasting one. Nigeria has more good than bad people and please feel free to visit some Nigerian Forums like nairaland.com and get to know Nigerians better there and also ask questions if the need arises.
    For prospective Nigerian wives, please do your research well before going to marry your man and do not allow your self to be seen as a rich and desperate woman, allow the man to do his work.

    Jenkinababe
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