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Marriage after meeting on internet - advice please



  • edited 7:55PM
    hi all its funny how people from countrys that have %89 of scams going on say to us NOT ALL ARE SCAMMERS lol im sorry but it is what it is anyone asking you to send cash or bank stuff look out SCAMM invite letter is fine .the 3rd world is for sale but not everyone will like what there buying lol my wife is from asia i still have to fix her visa alot of her friends have seen scams from there ownmen very sad most are poor so the only thing thay lose is there virginity very big deal in islamic asia so when thay see all of us in the west lose cash thay see us as lucky to have cash in the first place keep this in mind.
  • edited 7:55PM
    It is rather sad hearing all these bad comments on the men from Nigeria, I am a South African married to a Naija man , and this was the best decision I ever made. We also met on the internet but fortuanately he was residing in South Africa then.We chatted for about a month then decide to meet , and the person I fell inlove with on the internet to finally see him in real life was just the confirmation that he was the one , the next time we met he propose and less than a year later I travelled to Nigeria to marry this man. 5 years down the line with every passing day our love grows more beautiful , he treats me with the outmost respect , he is the best thing that ever happen to me. Yes Nigeria was nothing I am used to in my country but not even the poor roads infrustucture, the mad traffic, weather, and load shedding could compare to the ultimate feeling of contentment and happiness I have with my naija man.
  • edited 7:55PM
    Yes, I agree with you, Naijawifey. Even I and my husband have been apart due to the immigration process, we have never been apart because we always contact each other every day by texting message, making calls. My husband treats me with the outmost respect and he is the best husband that God gave me. I married with him in a short period of time after meeting in person. He is a hard working person that I have ever seen.Having been with him was the happiest time that I have. He woke up early morning to clean the house, made breakfast for me, did hand washing and took care of me when I had bad coughing due to the heat weather in Nigeria. He praise God for giving him a wife, the best gift that he has ever received. I known that he had been cope with the miserable life as he born in the poor country, Nigeria. But he never ever give up and always been positive thinking. I'm hoping people realize that not every Nigerian man are bad. From what I can see, they are hard working people coping with the hard life condition. No electricity power, no good food provided, hot weather, congested traffic. They treats their wife with the utmost respect.

    Kind Regards

  • edited 7:55PM
    would like to know what happen to her :)
  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi its angeleyess here is Lagos Nigeria

    Have to say I love my new Husband but for the rest of the country it is just hell x100

    I can say that all government officals are currpt and you can not believe the Nigerian Embassy in any country especially when it comes to marriage

    Note that there is no set procedure or price for marriage here and please note that they will shake your family down on the wedding day for flash money

    It has cost over 100K to marry here and it could have cost more only that i had to bit my tongue

    I will post more later on my return home or by the way there is also cruption in the VFS office so just be aware and now trying to get some answer from our embassy here in Nigeria and SA

    Chat soon

  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    I'm glad you find happiness with your husband. The marriage down there based on the case officer, If you meet the good officer, you won't spend much money. We were lucky, we didn't have spend so much money on our wedding day. We had a blissful wedding. Till today, I praise God for giving me wonderful husband from Lagos. My husband is still in the process of getting his visa to come to Australia to live with me. Hoping to hear some good news for you, Angelyess.
  • edited 7:55PM
    Hello everyone
    I am to a woman wanting to travel to Nigeria for the first time, I have many questions but one does puzzle me, my friend says they don"t have mail boxes at his home, is that possible or just a lie
    Please comment on this issue not sure if he is a scammer or not,

  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi Pinkey, you can ask him whether he is able to do video chatting with you, so you are able to see his face. Second, when you do video chatting, look around him whether he is in the house or in the Internet cafe. Invite his best friend to be your friend as well or ask some of his family to talk with you. From there, you will be able to judge yourself whether you want to continue on. Normally if he is truth to you, he and his family will support your relationship. Also you ask him, his identity card as well.

    Please be careful, open your eyes n ears in the process of knowing him and his family. Your own justification will let you know if you find something wrong from your conversation. If he try to hide you something, he will try to avoid the things that you ask for.

    Take care and good luck.

  • edited 7:55PM
    Hey, Nigerians are not so bad, we have populations are among these ppl, you can easily get good and bad ppl. if u find ur love in Nigeria please pray and follow ur hearth, Nigerians are good thye take care of their wife. its truth they are scammer, but u have to be careful, ask. if you are to go to Nigeria please have enough money that will take care of u 2) let your family member know where you are going to lodge, if possible at your arrival to lagos or anywhere in Nigeria tell your hotel manager your mission, use professional hotel, your manager or the owner will knw if the guy is a scammer or not, and you can detect by your self by his dressing and the way he will relate. to be honest with u there are good guys that are really faithful and caring.
  • edited 7:55PM
    after reading the comments, i am a lady that met a Naija man, we met online about 2 years ago,i heard alot about the scam, but ur right they aren't all scammers.. my fiance' paid for my entire trip.. from my passport,visa,visa fees,flight,hotel..he paid for everything.. bought anything i asked for.. he is the best thing that has happened to me and we are planning my 3rd visit and he will be paying for that trip as well... he lives and works on Victoria island and we plan to marry in sept...its true that the city has its good and bad places,but i was treated like a queen... he protected me and met met me inside the airport, he paid whatever he had to,so that he would be there to get me at the airport..not one time did he ever ask me for money... i think that we should pray and ask god if he/she is the right person for us..... ans follow ur heart... ive never been happier...
  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi No wahala

    He could not have meet you in the airport as you are picked up outside after having to pay off all the officals

    There is no one but officals and people arriving allowed in arrivels ?????



    PS I have other westerns that can confirm this!
  • edited 7:55PM
    This is soooo funny. First of all I understand that Nigerian men are not romantic men and a lot of woman from the states and other countries thrive off that. How can a man love someone that he never met or been around?? I am married to a Nigerian man and there are a lot of things I have learned from him about the culture ( But I met him in the States). One thing I know so well is how far some of the men will go to get there green card or get out of Nigeria, even if it mean telling a woman he love her. lol. I bet if you told him that you wanted to come and live in Nigeria with him that he would stop calling you and cut out all that love stuff. I don't understand why white woman are so gullible to fall for the hype. Also I have seen where Nigeria men play nice once they get out of Nigeria and once they get their papers they start showing there true color. The family most of the time don't see nothing of you but money and a way for them to maybe get out as well because once he leave they see as a way for them to get money and send it back home and hopefully one day divorce you and bring over his real wife and mother...etc. I am sorry to say but take your time and don't trust it.
  • edited 7:55PM
    I married a Nigerian man, I was a fool. He was so convincingly sincere, he really fooled me into believing he was such a man of God and that he loved me. I was married to him over 7 years. After he got his citizenship and a child from me, he became a totally different man to me. Towards the end, I started find out many things he hid from me. It was a very shocking and bitter pill to swallow. Ladies, I have learned from personal experience that Nigerian men can pretend for long periods of time. It still is very hard on me to realize that this man that I loved so deeply was only out to use me for money and citizenship, and whoever know what else he was trying to get from me. BE CAREFUL. I was very na
  • edited 7:55PM

    Thank you for letting me know. I put my marriage in God' hand. Every marriage couples will face their own problem to which some may end up with the divorce. Yes, when the divorce come to play, we are as a woman will most get the impact. What's I'm trying to say is divorce may happen to the marriage couple regardless where they are from. Marriage life is relied on how the couple educated them self to maintain their marriage to be last long. My husband will be here soon and together we will start our marriage life in Melbourne.

    Kind Regards
  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi everyone I'm a South African I just fell in love with this site and Your advises are so interesting just keep them coming
  • edited 7:55PM
    just be ware do not get involed with any one that is not in your own country and do not get involed with dating sites where these are
    there a many signs to tell you that they are not who they seam to be

    Run and do not give any money to anyone on the net or dating sites

    be advise africa is a very danagours site

    An do not use Kenya airways to travel there or from africa one of the worst airlines ive every used!
  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    It has been long time that I haven't heard any news from you. Are you back in Australia?
    I'm sorry to feel that you may have bad experiences in Africa. Hope you are fine.

    Take care.

    Kind Regards

  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi Mandy

    Yes im back in oz and my husband arrive on the 23rd of december

    If I ever have to go back to nigeria I would rather slash my wrist

    The officals made the marriage day a horrable day after exstoring over 64000 niaia out of me and my husband on the first day and that was not the last to come

    The embassy here in Australia have no Idea what they are talking about as once we arrived at the court the offical said if we wanted to do it there way they would deal the wedding for as long as possible till my return here

    The place is full of currpt officals that would rob you and stab you in the back

    All I have to say of the place is to shot all the officals (including the police officers ) and start again

    Worst place on earth!

    I will be around

  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    I'm really glad to hear you and your husband back in oz. My husband is still in Nigeria waiting for his visa. Hoping he will be soon with me. I know you had been through unexpected things but the happiness will always be with us. True love will always be survived.

    Take care.

  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    I have followed this topic for quite a time, I am a Nigerian women living in Australia, permit me to let out my opinion on some of your posts.
    Nigeria is a large country with both good and bad people. I honestly sympathize with you on the sad experiences you had in Nigeria during your visit but please do feel free to visit Nigeria any time, only that you have to be smarter the next time you visit. I am also glad you finally married the man of your dream.
    I have some points to make here, Nigeria is corrupt, that's indisputable but you made a lot of mistakes during your stay in Nigeria, I honestly do not see any reason why you presumed your husband was too poor to sponsor your marriage in his own country and he was around when money was extorted from you from different officers without any intervention by him?, If this is true then he started scamming you from there, he might have connived with those officers to defraud you with out you being aware of what was happening. Again, I do not know whether he took his time to counsel you like someone he loves, about Nigeria's condition while you were with him in the country.
    I honestly hope and pray the marriage turns out a lovely and lasting one. Nigeria has more good than bad people and please feel free to visit some Nigerian Forums like and get to know Nigerians better there and also ask questions if the need arises.
    For prospective Nigerian wives, please do your research well before going to marry your man and do not allow your self to be seen as a rich and desperate woman, allow the man to do his work.

  • edited 7:55PM
    Hi Angeleyess,

    Please, do ask for divine direction for your marriage, same applies to prospective Nigerian Wives.

  • edited 7:55PM
    I am married to a nigerian man and we met online. We have been talking for almost two years now. We were married 5 months ago. I have been to Nigeria twice now both times for two weeks. My husband sent me a phone to be able to contact him when i landed. Which i strongly recommend you do that and he made sure i had airtime to put on it. I really enjoyed my stay there and was well worth the trip. I have no regrets of making the trip to him and thankful that he is in my life.
  • edited 7:55PM
    Please i need help....I am one of those foolish woman from America that fell in love and still love my husband from Lagos Nigeria...but i have found out some things about him and i need to know how to get a divorce or an annulment from this marriage...I went to Nigeria the first time to meet him and it was my first time flying any where and i was never afraid...After staying there for over a week he asked me to marry him and i accepted....On October 11th 20012 we were married in Lagos Nigeria and i stayed with him until November 14th....but this time when i left him at the airport i did not feel like he really loved me or was going to miss me..i felt like he was glad to be rid of me....i cried the whole way home...but after i arrived home we con't to talk as much as we could till after Christmas...then the talks grew fewer and fewer...i seen how he has to live there and i loved him so i started sending him money and since i live on a fixed income borrowed money when i could to send him too...but now it has became too much and i cannot con't supporting two families and he is a lot younger than me and I need to let him go...He needs to marry someone his age and have a family...i was hoping i could give him a child but i cannot..cos we have tried....This is the hardest thing for me to do cos i do love him so much..but i need to get a divorce or an annulment to set him how can i do that....any info or advise would be greatly appreciated....i cannot discuss this with him cos he will just talk me out of it like he has done before...and if he is using me for a green card it is going to take a long time cos of the money you need for all the applications and visas and passport.....and yes i know of the scams there and i know what he has done in the past and probably is still doing....but i will never turn him in cos of the way their government is is all corrupt and when they have a job they do not get paid what they should get paid for the amount of work they do...and again i have seen this ....There is so many young ones there that the government should be helping and don't...there is a lot of talented and smart children there that could really make a difference in their country if they were given the proper education and funding.....i am just a stupid American Woman who needs to let her young husband any advise will help...thank you....
  • i have red all of the comments on this page and they all are good advice, but what i want to no is how is the mens in benin city i have just met a man on fb and we have been chatting for 3 month he tells me he loves me and he want me to come and see him but i am afraid that he is not who he says he is i have seen pic of him and i have talk to his brother, but i would like some advice should i go there and meet him or just for get about him he seem like a nice guy hes in college, i really would like to meet him but if it is a scam then im out. =((
  • am really feeling real down now ,would have cried if I was still a kid.i am a Nigerian based in southafrica,i got a lady online she is from Australia,we hv been dating long time,i send her gifts once in every month,i hv neva asked her for money or complained,she wants me to come to Australia bt it wnt be dt easy as it could be for her to com here.i told her to com to southafrica so we could marry n she can go bak with the documents,i promised to pay her flight I am scared cus if she read all dis stories about Nigerian I will loose her.pls my fellow Nigerians les stop dis scams pls:'(
  • Hi pals. i have read various comment about Nigerian scam n all that. you are right if you say that,however, there are many Nigerians who are just all you need to make a perfect relationship in life. I live in the uk and i met a lady from the US and it was all online stuff. our first meeting i had to send her money for the flight. its all about you knowing what you want and identifying ways of getting details about that you really want. However, My only advice is don't send money to anybody either Nigeria or not for the first time. if you are a lady, let the man do the money aspect. if your trip is $1000, tell him to pay 70%. if he goes with that, find more details about him and hope for the best. Good Luck.
  • Hi.  I'm from Canada.   I manage this single parents webpage.  Months ago, I watched a Dr. Phil show about scams coming out of Nigeria (that showed told lots about how these men and they work their lucrative business), Even after knowing all that I thought I knew about online romantic scams I fell into the trap of  a guy that found my page (women, specially single are vulnerable and the best targets).  The worst part is, I lost money.  But I am making it my mission to stop this scamming and fraud at least from him.  

    I had a gut instinct the second day he started talking to me.  But the christian heart blinded me. The relationship ended this past weekend (we online dated for almost two months).  Anyway, bu even if it hadn't fbeen for the money I sent and phone numbers that he gave me, I wouldn't have found out who the person behind the photos and scam was. This guy still has his profile on facebook. He's good looking alright.  But so nobody else falls into his trap I'll tell you about my story:   He goes by the name Lewis Brown. It says on his profile he is an  oil rig engineer (one of the classical tales eh Ladies).  It also says that he is from Los Angeles but  lives in Oakland, California, US.  He even has likes to his photos from women.  Anyway, I don't want to give out too many details because my investigation is still going on and I'm preparing the paperwork (records of emails, texts and facebook messages, and other documents we exchanged) to show my local police.  Everything I'm telling you here I found out myself.  When I found out who he was I told him I wante him to learn his lesson.  that I was going to go to the authorities. He got a bit scared, I guess.  He deleted his facebook page for a week only though.  Has deleted both of his email addresses I knew.  Actually in this story there are three guys that I know are involved for sure, and two  others whom I know were involved in a lesser way.  The third guy involved is Mark Alyson, and on his profile he is from Texas.  This Mark was made up (could be his real photo, but maybe not) in order to make me believe there was a hacker out there.  Anyway, the actual guy behind the photos of Lewis Brown is also a white guy, but like I said I don't want to  let out too much.  The other mastermind behind is a Nigerian, his name is Junaid Y. Olaide.  He confessed to being the one pretending to be Lewis Brown but also apologized and told me he was deeply in love.  Of  course after all the money I had lost, and all the lies and pretending I was disgusted and angry and refused to believe anymore. So ladies please pay attention. So you don't get scammed.  

    Look for these signs:  If a man, usually white, good looking, wants to be friends with you and within a week of having met tells you are the woman of his dreams WATCH OUT.  Not only that, if you spot broken English or shortened words such as talkin, as (has), am ( I am), etc.; talk about being a man of God or God fearing; makes you feel guilty because he feels insulted you are doubting him; asks you for your money because he is  in a grave need, (e.g. no money for hotel bills) even though he is an engineer or contract worker working in Nigeria (specially but could be another country); shows you documents with his name; call you his wife or fiance; wants to send you gifts; does't want you to tell your family because it's too soon to tell them; promises that he will repay you as soon his contract is over (or as soon as he goes back home or as soon as he gets his heck because there were not enough funds to pay all workers); is very polite and use sromantic words (even poems); sends you pictures of what he is doing (I found two of the ones he sent me were on the internet, they were of someone else of course); texts you from a cell phone (even though the area code seems it is from the U.S., pinger is a free calling and texting service that gives you a real US or Canadian number even though you may not be in these countries); and ESPECIALLY if he calls you and you hear an African accent (I work with immigrant families and I know how Nigerians sound like)  BE WARE.  These are all RED FLAGS.  

    Check them men/women out, ask lots of questions (personal questions). They may tell you their immediate family has died, wife, husband, kids, parents.  This Lewis said he was an orphan (actually I later found out that this Olaide was a true orphan).  Olaide has deleted his facebook profile but his language (typos and phrases) were the same Lewis Used.  I demanded my money back but of course I didn't get it.  Olaide's explanation was, I wasn't the one that collected the moneygram (one of two I sent).  The guy (who was supposed to be an engineer who fixed the machine that needed to be fixed in order to resume the construction of a gas plant) took the money I wired.  And another thing,  they also ask for money orders as they prefer cash as opposed to  bank transfers and wires because they don't want to give out personal information. Moneygram told me in Nigeria it is a REQUIREMENT for someone receiving a monegram to HAVE a bank account.  So if they are there working temporarily they shouldn't have a Nigerian bank account. These guys are professional criminals. They know how to falsify id and make up their own documents.  They even tell you are concerned for your safety, not to use your credit card because it is not safe to do those kinds of transactions.

    There are ways to find out who they are.  If you want to know how, here is my email address:  [email protected]

    Take care and may God helps end this ever rising problem.  And yes, there are good people in every country, just as like there are good people in every religion and in every family.

  • Hi people,
    I was on on around March 15th 2014 and msg by a lady proclaiming to be looking for someone to love her and be man of her dreams.
    Says she was from Brooklyn NY lives with her auntie. Says she was 32 and sent me couple photos. She was cute and I asked why she was interested in me. She said her last bf cheated with her best friend and someone told her older man know what they want and don't play games. We were talking every day for like a week and I was in love I guess. We had so much in common. I have a good job I guess and she was going to school to be an registered nurse. Told me her parents were dead and she now was going to see her mom's family she never met that lived in Ghana. Her dad was from the Philippine's. She said her auntie was treating her bad and she would finish her schooling in Ghana. She proclaimed her love for me and promised she would make me the happiest man alive. Right there I should have realized she was lying!
    She said her name was Fatima Laminu. I sent her a phone to communicate with me, she had a sim card. Then she wanted upkeep money cause it was very expensive to live over there. Did the whole western union thing. After giving for her documents to come back and then the family knocking fee and ring I was getting excited cause she was getting ready for her finals to graduate. She finally sent me a naked pic to show how committed she was to me. I asked for photo's school id and passport and picture of family. Granny, uncle, auntie and cousin. Then it fell apart when uncle requested at family meeting for traditional marriage fee which is customary to culture.... $11,500!!!!!! Now she has already gotten few thousand from me (yes I am stupid)!I had been frantically searching scam sites for her picture hoping and praying not to find but wishing I would to end this torture. I told her uncle only had 7k and he came down to 10,500 and said nice things about me, he was convincing.
    Then I told Fatima I needed a hug but would settle for a selfie of her out and about that day. The pics she sent she said her friend Vivian took in street and home on couch. She looked younger and was NOT wearing ring she bought with money I sent her. I hit the roof! We fought she sent pic with ring on but something was not right. I told her I take the ring thing very serious. Then I wanted to webcam she said ok. I called her on the webcam as it wasn't her... we fought again. I knew I had
    seen this video girl somewhere. I search scam sites again and found it!!!!
    Then I found something I wish I had discovered a lot of dollars ago.... Google Image Search!!!!
    Low and behold the pics she sent me were of a Latino porn star named AJ Estrada!!!!!!
    I bagged her on this and she said she could explain!!! Most people would walk away but I need answers. Who is this person??? I've been still talking to her last week and half and have her real name (only God Knows for sure). We skyped once. Says her name is Kadiatou Sesay and she is black. I've been stringing her along to get a video chat with her again but she is holding out. I told her I will not send anymore money until we Skype again. She always has an excuse for everything.
    Don't know how much more I can scam her as we had another fight tonight. LOL
    Anyways I have no intentions of sending another penny!!!
    Her uncle also gave me an account number at Ecobank with name of Rapid Dreams Ventures. I don't intend on sending Uncle any money. He shold have taken the 7k before her and I got in a fight and I discovered her scam!!!!!
    So watch out people for pretty pics and use Google Image Search from the beginning. I know all people aren't bad and there are good people even in Ghana. But just like here in the States there are bad people out there. Wish I found out before it cost me a good chunk of change!!!!!
  • Yes there are good and bad people but there is no fool like an old fool
  • I've read through all the comments and there is a good mixture of GOOD and BAD.....I agree that you have to follow your gut and no matter where your at be careful and always look around at your surroundings.  @Angeleyess, I am going through the same concerns as you have.  I met my man online, we've been communicating through skype, and all social media, texting ,calling, you name all the time videos....Its a daily conversations....I'm planning on visiting Nigeria in July for 2 weeks, and he will be coming back to the US with me eventually where were getting married there instead of getting married in Nigeria.  I just feel that like so many people have said there are good and bad everywhere, and sometimes you have to take a chance....Your gut will never tell you wrong and I've never had any bad gut feelings....I just want some suggestions as to what to pack...Got hotel reservations not to far from airport.  I always appreciate any comments or sugggestions
  • Hey, I haven't had the time yet to read all of the posts here. I read a couple so far. I was just wondering if someone can guide me in the right direction before I make a decision. I also met a man online from Nigeria. However, I suspect he may be married and may be trying to marry me and get his green card in order to divorce me later and bring his real wife here. Not 100% certain. Maybe Im just paranoid because I have trust issues from my last relationship and I have had people attempt to scam me before but they have failed! I was on to them from the very beginning. Anyway, my question is how can I look up his marriage license or criminal record. he lives in Lagos. I am under the impression that you can not and it frustrates me because for those of you who are from the U.S. know that stuff is public knowledge and can be research relatively easy. The other thing is that I have noticed that people are suggesting to met him here first in the U.S. I am under the impression that he can not do that. You have to go to Nigeria in order to prove that you are in a relationship with this individual first in order for them to come here. Any thoughts or suggestions?
  • edited May 2014
    The reason it is difficult to check if a Nigerian is married or not is because their are three acceptable forms of marriage in Nigeria.
    1. Civil registration, where you marry at city hall/register office.
    2. Customary marriage sometimes known as tribal marriage
    3. Nikah which is the Islamic marriage.

    None of theses weddings need to be formally registered with the local authority. It is also to easy to obtain fake marriage and divorce certificates in Nigeria. Even a criminal record check can be falsified .

    Your boyfriend can apply for a fiance visa to enter the US you do not have to go to Nigeria to visit him.

    My question is, why would want to hook up with a man if you can not know for sure whether he is married, has a criminal background and maybe wants to marry you for a visa and last but not least you have never met him.
    To me ( and I am sure many other people) that sounds absolutely crazy.

  • Yes it does sound crazy to many im sure. I thank you for getting back to me with that information, however he can not come here on a fiance visa without me going to Nigeria first to prove our relationship by way of plane tickets, photographs, etc...Ive already spoke with U.S. immigration.
  • I am an immigration lawyer and I can confirm that you do not have to fly to Lagos, you could meet anywhere or he could apply for a US tourist visa. For my safety I would visit him in Gambia for example that has a thriving tourist industry and does not have the safety issues of Nigeria.

    He probably wants you to go to Nigeria so you can marry while you are there..
  • I've been told it's hard for nigerians to geet a visa to the US because they are.strict because of all the scams going on. Hes been denied twice. I.cant.remember for what kind of visa....i wanna and then hes.coming back.over and were getting married in the US. And we have and have had every.kind of.communication for a year
  • ALL countries are strict on visas for Nigerians not just the US and meeting on line and one visit to Nigeria does not make a relationship. If he has been denied a visa twice by the US Embassy he may have a very difficult time to obtain a visa even a fiance/marriage visa. Good luck you are going to need it.
  • Alethia, thank u again for ur feedback. You are right as u know. I went to immigration in person yesterday n I guess I assumed it had to be Nigeria but they just said u have to meet in person they didnt necessarily specify where. However, the longer that I talk to this man the less I am interested in this whole idea. Too much suspicious activities around this man and lies that I pick up on. When I call him out on things that I pick up he of course denies any allegations. lol. And yes he recently wanted me to go to Nigeria to marry him. I initially agreed then I came to my senses. I told him that he should just come here on a B2 visa to visit for a while to see if we even get along in person first which to my surprise he agreed. However Im not sure if I even want that. I am losing interest due to discrepencies in some of his statements and avoidance of some of my questions. Very suspicious.
  • Follow your instincts, stay suspicious and don't be taken in by this man's lies. Of course he agreed to come to the US that's exactly what he wants. Be very careful.
  • DAMN THIS WHITE women are mumu oh .. Sorry to be so blunt..  First of all :

    1. Most responsible nigerian men do not go for caucausian women.. This is because of the HUGE HUGE CUltural difference.. You believe so much in equality in a funny manner.. For example , you really expect a Nigerian man to cook and share home chores with you? lol... That is not our culture.. Hence they stick to nigerian women mostly 

    2. Most well brought up Nigerians will have their parents constantly telling them NOT TO BRING HOME A WHITE PERSON.. Too much cultural difference and all

    3. If you are a white lady especially if you are big and a nigerian man tells you he loves you too soon .. You are 99% likely to be in for a scam.. I have seen this alot.. The good nigerians don't like things like this but unforturnately we get sterotyped due to the actions of the bad ones ..

    4. Seriously stop sending money to nigerian men.. In our culture the man mostly spends on you not the other way round ..He pays the house bill, the school fees for the kids  and even give you the money for food stuff.. Your role is to work ( Nigerian women are hardworking we arent really so much of a stay at home type ), take care of the family, cook, clean the house ( Those are your work ... You shouldnt send money to him.. You can support him money wise in some cases but most times you shouldnt be)... The ego of an african man is to provide for his family financially .. 

    5. Again dont expect him to do house chores.. This is the third time im saying this.. It is degrading for a Nigerian man to be expected to this .. He can decide to help you , He is only helping you out its not his role

    6. Stop believing a man who tells you he love you quickly.. Seriously... A typical nigerian woman is very hard to get.. We were brought up that way hence its abit funny to imagine how easily you believe some nigerian men

    7. Not all nigerian men are scammers.. Damn... Its just that the serious ones rarely approach white ladies.. 

    8. If you are one of the lucky 1% who finds a responsible Nigerian man who loves you pls  do not attempt to be the boss of the house, it never works, make your children learn his language, be respectful to your in-laws (his relatives ),expect to have cultural clash once in a while but if God is by your side your marriage will work.. Most nigerians are religious .. Nigerian women get up as early as 5 am, we cook breakfast ( eg rice  and other nigerian dishes ), we clean the house, prepare the kids for school , get ready to work, pray as a family, come back from work, pick up the kids, cook again and do other chores .. Are you really ready for that type of life? It is different to the type you are used to.. That is how nigerian women are groomed and that is what a typical nigerian man will expect because that is what he preceives as normal... There will be few exceptions though especially when dealing with nigerian men that were raised abroad.. They might not be so  typical but many will be.

    9. Being married to a nigerian man for 4 years is not enough to say he isnt with you for visa purpose.. I have seen a case of a man being married to an australian for 5 years before leaving her and getting married to a nigerian woman immediately
  • 10.. Please be wise and dont be easily decieved.. If you are not sure about him ask a HONEST nigerian woman she will tell you the truth. 

    11. Last but not the least, Nigerian men are famous for not wanting to marry a woman just because she already has a child unless something like death made her a single mum.. If you have reason to doubt a  nigerian man's true love for you and you already have a child, he is most likely a scammer 99.7%.
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